Handbook for a HR Manager...101 Questions & 202 Answers for them

The modern fast paced world with its array of tech gadgets which make work faster have helped all of us at work.
The only thing that seems to have grown faster is the work which they were initially made to do fast.
This work overload for sure has put a lot of stress on the HR Manager.This handbook is for all HR managers who are stressed because they have to deal with stressed employees..The handbook contains readymade answers for readymade employee problems

Q1.I have a lot of stress at work, i am overburdened...
A1.Stop cribbing...the problem is not the work...the problem is your perception.Stress is a mirage which you create urself with the help of ur perception,stop day dreaming start working.

Q2.My boss is a devil,he gives me work just before i prepare to leave for the day.
A2.If your boss is a devil , who is asking you to be a saint?Stimulate that you are leaving for the day at least 3 hrs before your usual time...by doing this he will not only get a heart attack but it will also help you reach home on time.

Q3.That new guy who joined yesterday has a higher desingnation and lesser years of experience.I have been here in this company for such a long time.
A3.The answer lies in your own statement - be the new guy in a new company you will get a higher designation with lesser years of experience tahn the old guy there.

Q4.I work very hard but i dont get rewarded for it.
A4 You are a fool... work for only how much money your get paid for...anything extra that you put in is totaly uncalled for ... your loss not company's gain.

Q5.There is too much politics in office.
A5.Voting ke din agar aap vote nahi kar rahe hoo to aap soo rahe ho..jago jago jago re....join the biggest,most powerful group and make yourself comfortable.India is a democracy so is our office.

Q6.I dont like Shyam.
A6 Its ok dont like him just work with him.

Q7.I am getting bored, work is not challenging enough.
A7.You think my work is challenging? I have been doing this same shit for years...just take your money and be happy..kahe ku dimag ka dahi karta hai?

Q.8.When will i get my promotion which you promised last year?
A.8 Next year.... the same thing which i told you last year.

Q.9. I want to Quit.
A.9. You are the most valuable employee for us on the face of this earth...i will give you promotion right now... i will transfer that stupid shyam whom you dont like right away (line applicable only at times of severe talent crunch)or else say " na dil mein hai khwaaf na man mai hai khwaaf so kindly f**k off"